Diana Butler Bass quoted Br. David Steindl Rast in her Cottage post yesterday. “If you’re grateful, you’re not fearful, and if you’re not fearful, you’re not violent. If you’re grateful, you act out of a sense of enough and not a sense of scarcity, and you are willing to share. If you are grateful, you are enjoying the differences between people. You are respectful to everybody. And that changes this power pyramid under which we live.”
I’ve been thinking about these siblings, these brothers and this daddy who was so grateful to see his son again-recognizing him from far off and running to greet him! And, I think about how grateful I am that I have my daughter nearby who wants to be part of my life while I have a son who has no contact with me. I would run to greet him even if I saw him far off-for sure. And, she would feel the same.
I think many of us have often wondered about these two brothers-if they were real people what happened next after the feast of reconciliation-after the fatted calf was consumed. In Sojourners the commentator went down a road I couldn’t follow: Dong Hyeon Jeong went to the Marvel Universe and wrote about the tension between Captain America and Iron Man-well, I know of these characters and I have friends who have seen every movie put out about them but I can’t really address the rivalry, the reconciliation, and their decision to work together to ight common enemies. Maybe I shouldn’t have preached on Spiderman years ago.
Then my thoughts went to two brothers I know and love right now. One is serving a prison sentence and the other has been supporting his parents and his brother’s family during this time. They know where the older sibling is and they visit. There has been a lot of heartache over this whole time and they all look forward to the time he will be home again.
These birth roles are reversed from the brothers in Jesus’ story. It is the older brother who is in prison and the younger brother who is working his job, living within his means, supporting his own family in addition to spending time with his nephew and niece doing all he can to make their life events special, taking them on journeys across states to visit their dad (at no small expense), and making extra effort to take them on trips just for the fun of it. He might be shaking his head in disbelief, he is dealing with some chronic health issues that are exacerbated by stress, and he still loves his brother. And, he has been watching out for his parents, their financial well-being, and their emotional and physical health. It’s a lot and no one was surprised that he stepped up because it is just who he is.
I think the older brother in Jesus’ story is more typical in his response. Not that the man I know doesn’t likely think sometimes that his brother could have done better, that he often wonders how two people raised in the same household can be so different in the way they practice gratitude. One never has enough and the other is happy to plan and save and carefully consider each purchase-whether it has value to his family. And, things don’t need to be fancy.
I suspect the older brother in Jesus’ story was content with what he had. He envisioned a future when he would inherit his father’s land and holdings and his younger brother would work for him and be part of his family. One big happy family. But his brother wanted to see the world-he didn’t want to live in his father’s house-in his brother’s house. He wanted to see what was out there where he could make his own way.
Our culture doesn’t encourage multi generational households. Doesn’t encourage sons to stay in the family household and help support the whole family in business and domestic life. Our successes are measured by whether our children get their own places to live with their own families. Then we lament that the grandchildren live in another state-so far away.
So, this younger son wanting his inheritance before the death of his father so he could go out on his own is really strange. Those hearing the story would look at this man as wrong, wrong, wrong. And, then, he is a Jew taking care of pigs! How low could he go? Well, he apparently didn’t end up in prison! His family didn’t understand his need to leave and the family I have spoken of doesn’t understand the oldest son’s need to have expensive things. They have some concept of the underlying mental health issues but not the crossing over to break the law to obtain what he wanted.
Time will tell how my present day story will play out when the prison sentence is finished and probation is settled upon. It will be good for this man to be able to return to his family and his life will be different. I suspect the prodigal son’s life was different, too. I hope that some day I have a prodigal son in my life-I would be very grateful for that. And, I hope this family with two sons sees both of them living a life of gratitude. Grateful for freedom, grateful for the support the older son has received from his whole family, and grateful for a chance to start anew. “…If you’re grateful, you act out of a sense of enough and not a sense of scarcity, and you are willing to share. If you are grateful, you are enjoying the differences between people. You are respectful to everybody. And that changes this power pyramid under which we live.”